Saving Myself

 | by Desi Ripple |

Being asked to write on a topic like “Who has had the most impact on your life” is a sensitive subject for me. While most would say a parent, grandparent or family member, I wouldn’t be able to use any of these. My parents were a far cry from normal parents. Both addicted to drugs, in and out of jail and abusive. Somehow during the mix of the chaos, I managed to find a way to break free from the cage I was in.

My home was a run-down trailer house in a run-down trailer park. It was normal to watch my mother prostitute herself while sticking a needle in her arm. Normal to hear my father snorting cocaine off the coffee table while trying to finish my homework. With no family to call my own, no family to keep me safe, I made the most terrifying decision I would ever make in my time here on earth.

I woke up one morning and realized something very important. Was this it? Why won’t anyone save me? Was this my life? Is this all I’m ever going to be? I grew tired of asking myself this every day when I looked in the mirror. So I decided to save myself. That day at 14 years old I became my own hero. I left with a trash bag full of clothes and never looked back. I slept in ditches, on couches, went hungry, showered in gas station bathrooms, but, I was free. I was homeless but I knew at least now I had a future.

After a year of being homeless, I got my first job. From my first job to being an emancipated minor. An emancipated minor to having my very first apartment. My first apartment to walking across the stage at 16 years old receiving my high school diploma.

Now you would probably think that I’m saying “I AM the one who has had the most impact on my life” but really all along it’s been God. All the times I feared for my life, God was there. With every single hit, blow, bruise, God was there. Every ditch, every single meal missed, God was there. All that time, begging for someone to save me, God already saved me.

In conclusion, there’s not a conclusion. He still continues to save my life every single day. So with that being said, God has made the most impact on my life for 3 reasons, because of faith, because of hope, and because he loved me.

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