My Life

| Dorothye |

Family, friends and co-workers, I have decided to tell you what has transpired in my life in the last year. On December 25, 2012, I married Paul. I gave this man my whole heart and soul and loved him unconditionally. My children loved and adored him. We never had a disagreement.

In July 2013 he had a hip replacement and I helped him through it. Then in September 2013 he started having periods of tachycardia (high heart rate). He ended up on medication and getting a pacemaker in October. Things were great. No problems.

In March 2014 he had to wear a heart monitor for 2 weeks straight. The doctor saw that one time his heart rate went up to 170. That caused alarm because he could have a stroke with a heart rate that high. He was put on more medication. Still things were great.

On May 16, 2014 I came home from work and he wasn’t home from work yet. I called him. He said he left. I asked what he was talking about. He said he packed all his things and left. I sunk to the floor. I asked why. There were many excuses. No real reason.

My family and friends were called for support and prayers. My children and I cried together. Over the next many months I begged and pleaded for him to talk to me on the phone, to sit down and talk and to go to counseling. He would only text me, nothing else. He wanted a dissolution. His reasons: he didn’t feel like he belonged – I don’t know how that could be when we welcomed him with open arms and my girls loved him like a father– other reason he was feeling like he was doing all the work around the house. I had been struggling with extreme fatigue and was doing as much as I could. I started seeing an endocrinologist for help. He basically was cooking and doing the laundry.

The day came when I got a call at work that the dissolution was ready to sign. I had to leave work. I was a mess. My children called in reinforcements that evening because they didn’t know what to do. Eventually, the papers were signed and the dissolution was final on March 23, 2015. I had friends and family there to support me. I never once looked at him. I am trying very hard to move forward with my life. I have been told that this event has been a trauma in my life because of the circumstances.

2 days before he left, we went out to eat and talked and everything was fine. The day he left he told me he had been looking for a job in Florida for 2 months to move back there and be with his grown children and grandchildren because he was afraid he wasn’t going to live long with his heart problems. So for 2 months he lied to my face everyday and told me nothing. He continued to search for a job in Florida for a couple more months then his children told him they did not want him to move back to Florida because it would be too much stress on their mother. So unfortunately, he is still here in Salem.

This has been the hardest year of my entire life. To just have the rug ripped out from under me. I have cried more tears in this past year than I have in my entire life together. My children have been devastated too. For the past year we have caught him driving by our house many, many times (too many to count). He recently texted my daughter twice in a week. She did not text him back and finally blocked him.

I have always been a strong person. I have gone through other hard trials in my life. But I truly have been devastated by this. I keep asking myself: what person leaves without any indication that anything is wrong and then will not talk on the phone or meet with their spouse? I would not have made it through this year without God, my parents, brothers, my children, many other family members and my friends. They have all listened to me cry for endless hours and took matters into their own hands when needed.

I pray everyday for God’s guidance. I still have a long road of healing ahead of me, but I
am working on it. Thanks for listening.

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